Not quite strong enough.

"You are strong" She tells herself as she lays down for the night. "You are strong" She tells herself as she fights the urge to cry. "You are strong" She tells herself when all seems not quite right. "You are strong" She tells herself but she knows it's just a lie.

23rd January 2012

I've not been feeling great for a few days, its only some cold virus I think but still I hate the fact that its enough to set me back. I've been climbing twice whilst being under the weather and have really felt the effect, not so good when I felt as though I was really improving the week before. Will have to keep up with the fruit and water intake to ensure I get back on top of the world soon!

Toothache!

For almost a week now, I have been struggling with my top left wisdom tooth coming through and it is now inflamed. I have visited the dentist who have prescribed me antibiotics and want to see me again next week to discuss what will happen next as they say it is coming through at a funny angle. I'm really not looking forward to that.

The pain has been unbelievable but my doctors have now prescribed me some stronger painkillers (cocodamol 30-500)which are at least taking the edge off for me. They are also making me extremely drowsy and my body feels very heavy which in an odd way feels nice! I can't really take these during the day though as it would be impossible to look after the children.

Oh well, we can't have it all! :)

School Parents Evenings!

Last week came the time that many parents dread, visiting teachers to find out how your child is getting on at school. I never feel like this, I have been visiting the same school for the last 6 years and have never had a bad word said (surprisingly I must say. I love my children but do know they aren't always angels).
As always, the teachers tell me that my eldest two children Georgia and Luke were doing brilliantly in class and are always sensible and well behaved (it's such a lovely feeling to know that they may be handfuls at home but they know how to behave the rest of the time).
Archie on the other hand (his first parents evening), my little blue eyed darling seems to be making up for lost time with the naughtiness. He's been messing around at carpet time when he should be listening and disturbing other children, dive bombing on his physio equipment and generally being silly at times he should be sensible. In a lot of ways, I wasn't surprised to hear this, he's extremely bright but at the minute he seems to be using his intelligence to find out how many buttons he can push. He's had the advantage of so many people around him being soft on him because of his mobility needs that he now knows he can get away with a lot more than anyone else. This soft approach really hasn't done him any good.
I've asked his teacher to make sure all the staff take a firmer stance with him and I am going to ensure he gets the same at home.
Fingers crossed that by his next parents evening, his behaviour is under control.

Hearing the teacher tell me his antics has really quite bothered me, no one likes to think that their child is misbehaving.

It's going to be somewhat a challenge to make sure everyone around Archie knows not to give him special treatment but that is what I intend to do.

He's growing up... Eeek!

Yesterday was my youngest son's first day at primary school. The week leading up to this day, I felt sick, had butterflies in my stomach, was extremely lacking in sleep and in the brink of crying every time I thought about it.
Needless to say, he was absolutely fine, the school seemed relaxed too considering his additional needs and on the day, this made the world of difference.
I clock watched all day and couldn't wait to give him a huge squeezy cuddle when I picked him up. I felt much better when I took him thus morning and he was very eager to go in, even telling his brother that he didn't want to be late.
I know school is going to be fantastic for him and am so proud of everything he has achieved up to now.
I'm secretly looking forward to next week so that I can get on top of the housework!

Back to reality!

With my children at their dads for more than 2 days in a row for the first time in 2 years, I was dreading this past weekend. I always miss them terribly when they are not with me. Luckily for me though, I have an extremely awesome boyfriend who quite willingly took it upon himself to look after me for a couple of days. We spent two whole days, pottering around, a bit of shopping, a bit of cooking and seeing some fantastic friends. I have to say, I think I feel more refreshed after the last couple of days than what I did after my last holiday. Still, it felt great to pick my little ones up this morning and get to spend some time with them. To see them smile when they saw me was fabulous.

It was nice to sit back and realise tonight that I really am lucky to have so many amazing people around me.

Reality for me may not be the conventional perfect but the people in my life are! That is what matters and that fact makes me smile a lot!

Thought of the day!

Often one if the calmest times of day is when parents put their little ones to bed. After an exhausting day, its always nice for a little peace. For me, that 'peace at last' novelty wears off really quickly and I begin to miss the noise and the cuddles. I often climb into bed at night and consider going and giving them a cuddle.
I miss my children when they are sleeping!